Paano Kita Iibigin
by Regine Velasquez
Paano ang buhay kong ito
Ngayon tayo ay magkalayo
Hindi pa ba sapat ang aking pag-ibig
Di ba’t nag-sumpaan tayo
Sino, ano ang hinahanap mo
Bakit nagkukubli’t nagtatago
Ang tunay mong hangarin
Ba’t di sabihin sa ‘kin
Mahirap ba akong mahalin
Paano kita iibigin
Kung di mo ibibigay ang puso mo sa akin
Ano ang pumipigil sa damdamin at sa puso mo
Maghihintay ako sabihin mong mahal mo na ako
Paano kita iibigin
(Paano ang buhay kong ito)
Kung ‘di mo ibibigay ang puso mo sa akin
(Ngayon tayo ay magkalayo)
Ano ang pumipigil sa damdamin at sa puso mo
(Hindi pa ba sapat ang aking pag-ibig)
Maghihintay ako na sabihin mong mahal mo na ako
(Di ba’t nag-sumpaan tayo)
Di ko matitiis ang malayo ka
Kung kailan ako nagmahal mawawala pa
Mawawala ka
Paano kita iibigin
(Paano ang buhay kong ito)
Kung ‘di mo ibibigay ang puso mo sa akin
(Ngayon tayo ay magkalayo)
Ano ang pumipigil sa damdamin at sa puso mo
(Hindi pa ba sapat ang aking pag-ibig)
Maghihintay ako na sabihin mong mahal mo na ako
(Di ba’t nag-sumpaan tayo)
Paano kita iibigin
Kung di mo ibibigay ang puso mo sa akin
Ano ang pumipigil sa damdamin at sa puso mo
Maghihintay ako sabihin mong mahal mo na ako
Maghihintay ako (maghihintay ako)
Na sabihin mong (na sabihin mong)
Mahal mo rin ako
***
Manhid
by Regine Velasquez
Mahal, kailan mo ba ako tunay na makikita?
Mahal, yayakapin kita nang walang hanggan
Ngunit hindi ako ang iyong nakikita
Hindi ang yakap ko ang iyong nadarama
At sa tuwing ako'y hinahagkan
Ng mga labing katabi ng walang hanggan
Sa hangin ang puso'y dumadaan
Mainit mo ako ngayong hinahawakan
Mga kamay mo'y naglalakbay kung saan-saan
Mainit mo akong binabalot ng iyong kalungkutan
Natutunaw ako sa init ng iyong katawan
Ako ba'y tunay mong nararamdaman?
Ako ba'y tunay mong nararamdaman?
Kailan mo ba ako mararamdaman?
O kay tagal maghilom ng mga sugat mo
Abutin ko man malalim ito
Malulunod ako...
Ako ba'y tunay mong nararamdaman?
Ako ba'y tunay mong nararamdaman?
Kailan mo ba ako mararamdaman?
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
rollercoaster 'til valentine's day
"I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times, in life after life, in age after age forever."
tonight, it will be a month since we first saw each other again after 10 years. as I recall what has happened since then, i cannot help but imagine myself in a rollercoaster.
why? because i have experienced a lot of emotions in the past couple of weeks that we have been seeing each other.
at one point, you would be so sweet and serious, explaining to me why things are the way they are and how and why you think and feel this way right now. it made me happy at those times that i feel that we are bonding, that we - "us" - matters.
and then at another point, you will say things and do things that would make my heart drown in tears.
still, i will try to understand.
***
i was very surprised when you explained to me why you called me "dear". you said it meant that the person is very special and that it was a very rarely used term of endearment. thank you.
but you also asked me if we really needed to be a couple for us to know if this is going somewhere or not. it kinda broke my heart when you said that. that would mean i won't have anything to hold on to. at least not for now. i hope just for now.
***
i went to your house when you asked me to so we could hangout. you surprised me again. i thought you said that you wanted to start inviting me at your house so we could hangout but you were scared that your parents might be worried again because once they see you dating again and see that you're very much into me that you might not be able to handle it well again if and when separation comes.
but you invited me to hangout to your house. and your parents weren't home. clever.
it was also then that i realized that you did not like very public display of affection.
and it was also then i found out you had other plans on valentine's day. and i went home really pissed off. but you didn't know it.
***
i saw you the night before valentine's day. i had to be a friend to you that night. you said you'd be bad company. but you weren't. were you happy to be with me that night? i hope so.
you said i was your valentine. and when i asked you about your plans for the day of hearts, your reply made me laugh deep inside! i was pretty much put to ease that night.
and when you brought me home, it was funny that we only held hands and slept for an hour in your car.
i am waiting for the time when i'll sleep beside you, with you holding me in your arms. i hope it'll be soon.
***
i love how you were so nervous if my parents caught us kissing in your car. i love the fact that you always want to leave a good impression with them.
i love how you comforted me that couple of nights ago, when i was explaining to you a few things about myself. i love how you just put your arms around me and let my head rest on your shoulders. i love how i felt when you suddenly seemed to understand that you can't just take me for granted. or at least i thought you did.
i love how you leaned on me. i love how you sniffed me again. i love how you rested your head on my lap.
i love how you suddenly asked me to get in your car when you were already about to leave and then suddenly hugged me. so tight.
i love how you looked at me and touched my face as if you were studying me, memorizing every line and curve and crease.
i love how your eyes seem to say so much whenever you look at me.
i love your eyes.
i love how you kissed me. over and over. passionately. sweetly.
i will always love how you kiss me.
***
i cleaned the ring that night, sniffer. the ring that you gave me 11 years and 1 day ago.
i really hope that i get to wear it soon again. i hope that that day comes at the right time. our time.
tonight, it will be a month since we first saw each other again after 10 years. as I recall what has happened since then, i cannot help but imagine myself in a rollercoaster.
why? because i have experienced a lot of emotions in the past couple of weeks that we have been seeing each other.
at one point, you would be so sweet and serious, explaining to me why things are the way they are and how and why you think and feel this way right now. it made me happy at those times that i feel that we are bonding, that we - "us" - matters.
and then at another point, you will say things and do things that would make my heart drown in tears.
still, i will try to understand.
***
i was very surprised when you explained to me why you called me "dear". you said it meant that the person is very special and that it was a very rarely used term of endearment. thank you.
but you also asked me if we really needed to be a couple for us to know if this is going somewhere or not. it kinda broke my heart when you said that. that would mean i won't have anything to hold on to. at least not for now. i hope just for now.
***
i went to your house when you asked me to so we could hangout. you surprised me again. i thought you said that you wanted to start inviting me at your house so we could hangout but you were scared that your parents might be worried again because once they see you dating again and see that you're very much into me that you might not be able to handle it well again if and when separation comes.
but you invited me to hangout to your house. and your parents weren't home. clever.
it was also then that i realized that you did not like very public display of affection.
and it was also then i found out you had other plans on valentine's day. and i went home really pissed off. but you didn't know it.
***
i saw you the night before valentine's day. i had to be a friend to you that night. you said you'd be bad company. but you weren't. were you happy to be with me that night? i hope so.
you said i was your valentine. and when i asked you about your plans for the day of hearts, your reply made me laugh deep inside! i was pretty much put to ease that night.
and when you brought me home, it was funny that we only held hands and slept for an hour in your car.
i am waiting for the time when i'll sleep beside you, with you holding me in your arms. i hope it'll be soon.
***
i love how you were so nervous if my parents caught us kissing in your car. i love the fact that you always want to leave a good impression with them.
i love how you comforted me that couple of nights ago, when i was explaining to you a few things about myself. i love how you just put your arms around me and let my head rest on your shoulders. i love how i felt when you suddenly seemed to understand that you can't just take me for granted. or at least i thought you did.
i love how you leaned on me. i love how you sniffed me again. i love how you rested your head on my lap.
i love how you suddenly asked me to get in your car when you were already about to leave and then suddenly hugged me. so tight.
i love how you looked at me and touched my face as if you were studying me, memorizing every line and curve and crease.
i love how your eyes seem to say so much whenever you look at me.
i love your eyes.
i love how you kissed me. over and over. passionately. sweetly.
i will always love how you kiss me.
***
i cleaned the ring that night, sniffer. the ring that you gave me 11 years and 1 day ago.
i really hope that i get to wear it soon again. i hope that that day comes at the right time. our time.
Friday, February 8, 2008
weary
sniffer, please take care of yourself.
your job demands so much of you that i sometimes feel guilty asking for a bit of your time. i know you need to focus on this because you like what you're doing. but the workload they give you... if only they know how much value you put in what you do so they give you what's due you.
sometimes i wonder if i get in the way of your work and your rest time. i hope, somehow, i get to be your relief at the end of your stressful day at work whenever we see each other.
***
i rushed to see you last night, sniffer. i was so worried. i didn't want you to go home alone while you weren't feeling well. that's how much i care for you.
when i got inside your car i was so worried. and then i saw the look in your eyes. it confused me. what were you thinking? were you surprised that i rushed to see you? did you think that i couldn't? or did you think that i really shouldn't have?
but when you hugged me, i knew and felt that you were grateful i was there. i knew that you needed me and that your guards were slowly ripped down. and you couldn't admit it because you were scared.
***
funny how i came from a talk about love languages that night, sniffer.
i think i wanna find out what our love language is. and if we have the same love language. i'm excited to find out. i hope you will be too.
***
when can i call you mine, sniffer? until when will i wait? when will you not be scared anymore? i hope not another 10 years. i hope not forever.
i hope we stop wasting time and be together soon.
your job demands so much of you that i sometimes feel guilty asking for a bit of your time. i know you need to focus on this because you like what you're doing. but the workload they give you... if only they know how much value you put in what you do so they give you what's due you.
sometimes i wonder if i get in the way of your work and your rest time. i hope, somehow, i get to be your relief at the end of your stressful day at work whenever we see each other.
***
i rushed to see you last night, sniffer. i was so worried. i didn't want you to go home alone while you weren't feeling well. that's how much i care for you.
when i got inside your car i was so worried. and then i saw the look in your eyes. it confused me. what were you thinking? were you surprised that i rushed to see you? did you think that i couldn't? or did you think that i really shouldn't have?
but when you hugged me, i knew and felt that you were grateful i was there. i knew that you needed me and that your guards were slowly ripped down. and you couldn't admit it because you were scared.
***
funny how i came from a talk about love languages that night, sniffer.
i think i wanna find out what our love language is. and if we have the same love language. i'm excited to find out. i hope you will be too.
***
when can i call you mine, sniffer? until when will i wait? when will you not be scared anymore? i hope not another 10 years. i hope not forever.
i hope we stop wasting time and be together soon.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
happy heart
sniffer, you surprise me. you really do!
i'm amazed about the kind of person you have become and the kind of person you still are. and i'm excited to see more of it. more of you.
***
i knew you wanted to see me that friday night. how much, i didn't know yet. but i had to make time for my friends. i needed to let them know about you. i needed to share to them my happiness about having you back in my life.
and you insisted to see me! you insisted to go where i was even if you hated the place! and you were fine meeting my friends!
you completely surprised me and the girls that night. that's why you had a thumbs up. they love you!
how can i not love you for that? i am slowly re-learning that part of you. how giving you can be. most especially to me.
***
i'm also grateful finding out how you will be there for me if i asked you to. i'm happy how you always wanna make a good impression with my parents. i'm happy that you want to keep seeing me (we seem to be seeing each other a lot lately... i know, 10 years...) even if you said we'll take things slow. even if we both know that we don't know yet where this is going.
yet, again, i'm hopeful. everytime we meet, everytime we go out, i see a glimmer of hope, and it gets bigger everytime.
i hope i don't get myself disappointed. but don't worry, i know i still have to guard my heart. i'm aware of that.
***
i was so nervous to see you monday night. but i knew i could trust you that's why i agreed to go. and, again, you amazed me at how sweet and how much of a gentleman you still are. sort of.
it's ok. i understand. after all, you're still a guy.
still, i trusted you. and i still do. and i know i'll always be comfortable with you. i was amazed when you said it felt like the first time we kissed. it still overwhelms you. i'm still overwhelmed by it too.
but do you trust me, sniffer? do you trust me enough to realize that i won't leave anymore?
***
you told me that when you get into a relationship, you think long-term. and by long-term, you mean marriage.
you know what? you made me so happy when you said that. because i know in my heart that i do want that too.
***
you asked me very serious questions the last time we were together. you asked me things that i knew bothered you about how i felt for you. when you asked me what i wanted from you, what i want from this, i only said a few words that i so desperately wanted you to believe - i wanna be with you. as simple as that. but broad in sense.
because i don't just wanna be with you. i also want to take care of you just as i know how much you'll take care of me. i wanna be able to share a life with you and see us both grow.
i know i didn't say these things to you because i know you'll tell me the same thing - that we're not so sure of that yet.
in time. there will be a right time for these words. i just hope one day that you'll feel and know that what i'm saying is true. that i do care for you so much. that you make me so happy. that i do love you.
for now, i'm just so happy that we're seeing each other often. oh sorry, as you corrected me, dating each other.
***
i shared my dilemmas to my friend. how i'm still figuring out whether it's ok for me to be intimate with you even if we're not yet together. and what she told me struck me. she had the same situation, but in the end, she decided to stop it and let go. she told me to enjoy whatever we have right now. that i should trust you in everything. but, just as always, she also said that i have to guard my heart too.
in time, we will see if this is all worth it. in time, you will see that it will be worth it. i will be worth risking you heart for. again.
***
when we parted that night, you said i have your heart. do i really? i hope so.
'til then, sweet sniffer. 'til then.
i'm amazed about the kind of person you have become and the kind of person you still are. and i'm excited to see more of it. more of you.
***
i knew you wanted to see me that friday night. how much, i didn't know yet. but i had to make time for my friends. i needed to let them know about you. i needed to share to them my happiness about having you back in my life.
and you insisted to see me! you insisted to go where i was even if you hated the place! and you were fine meeting my friends!
you completely surprised me and the girls that night. that's why you had a thumbs up. they love you!
how can i not love you for that? i am slowly re-learning that part of you. how giving you can be. most especially to me.
***
i'm also grateful finding out how you will be there for me if i asked you to. i'm happy how you always wanna make a good impression with my parents. i'm happy that you want to keep seeing me (we seem to be seeing each other a lot lately... i know, 10 years...) even if you said we'll take things slow. even if we both know that we don't know yet where this is going.
yet, again, i'm hopeful. everytime we meet, everytime we go out, i see a glimmer of hope, and it gets bigger everytime.
i hope i don't get myself disappointed. but don't worry, i know i still have to guard my heart. i'm aware of that.
***
i was so nervous to see you monday night. but i knew i could trust you that's why i agreed to go. and, again, you amazed me at how sweet and how much of a gentleman you still are. sort of.
it's ok. i understand. after all, you're still a guy.
still, i trusted you. and i still do. and i know i'll always be comfortable with you. i was amazed when you said it felt like the first time we kissed. it still overwhelms you. i'm still overwhelmed by it too.
but do you trust me, sniffer? do you trust me enough to realize that i won't leave anymore?
***
you told me that when you get into a relationship, you think long-term. and by long-term, you mean marriage.
you know what? you made me so happy when you said that. because i know in my heart that i do want that too.
***
you asked me very serious questions the last time we were together. you asked me things that i knew bothered you about how i felt for you. when you asked me what i wanted from you, what i want from this, i only said a few words that i so desperately wanted you to believe - i wanna be with you. as simple as that. but broad in sense.
because i don't just wanna be with you. i also want to take care of you just as i know how much you'll take care of me. i wanna be able to share a life with you and see us both grow.
i know i didn't say these things to you because i know you'll tell me the same thing - that we're not so sure of that yet.
in time. there will be a right time for these words. i just hope one day that you'll feel and know that what i'm saying is true. that i do care for you so much. that you make me so happy. that i do love you.
for now, i'm just so happy that we're seeing each other often. oh sorry, as you corrected me, dating each other.
***
i shared my dilemmas to my friend. how i'm still figuring out whether it's ok for me to be intimate with you even if we're not yet together. and what she told me struck me. she had the same situation, but in the end, she decided to stop it and let go. she told me to enjoy whatever we have right now. that i should trust you in everything. but, just as always, she also said that i have to guard my heart too.
in time, we will see if this is all worth it. in time, you will see that it will be worth it. i will be worth risking you heart for. again.
***
when we parted that night, you said i have your heart. do i really? i hope so.
'til then, sweet sniffer. 'til then.
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