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My Greatest Flaw
by D'Sound

Am I such a drooling fool, that all I ever think of is you?
And am I such a ludicrous girl, to make you the center of my world?
Spring time has come and gone again
When my phone rings, I hope that it's you
although I shouldn’t want it to

Because you… you are my greatest flaw
And I’m so ashamed to say, I’ll do it again everyday
You… You are my greatest flaw
I know that I am smart, but somebody tell my heart

I want to see you then I don’t
I jump into the feelings then I won’t
And when I do you're wasting my time
Trashing what is left of my spine

Summer is playing its greatest hits
Every Friday, I hope that we meet
although I shouldn’t wish for it

Because you… you are my greatest flaw
And I’m so ashamed to say,
I’ll do it again everyday
You… You are my greatest flaw
I know that I am smart, but somebody tell my heart

Didn’t I tell you so?
Didn’t you even know?
Didn’t I tell you so?
Yes I know…you’re my greatest flaw

Because you…
I know that I am smart, but somebody tell my heart
You… You are my greatest flaw…
And I’m so ashamed to say,
I’ll do it again everyday
You… You are my greatest flaw…
I know that I am smart, but somebody tell my heart

breakfast. kisses. and sniffs

i was really touched when you thought of having breakfast with me last week, sniffer.

even if our work schedule didn't agree, you even thought of having breakfast because you knew it was the only time that we'd be able to meet up.

i felt like you really missed me already.

but the breakfast didn't push through.

it made me sad. did it make you sad?

***

i asked to see you last weekend. you were at work yet you agreed to see me even if you were already tired. i appreciate that.

but when we met up, you were so distant. i don't understand it.

again, i felt that feeling of disconnection, that feeling of just being friends.

don't get me wrong. i'm glad that we are friends. but it was way too casual. way too casual for two people who are supposed to be "dating".

i guess i got so used to you being so sweet and so affectionate in the beginning.

and, now, are you withdrawing it?

***

i asked you if you missed me.

i was just waiting for simple answer, that you did.

but you gave me a sarcastic answer. and i started to get scared.

***

i told you you were becoming a bit distant lately, and you couldn't answer me.

you just whined, laughed and told me we'll just have coffee one of these days.

i felt more scared.

***

when you brought me home, i asked for a hug. twice. i couldn't feel you.

and then i kissed you. on the lips.

and it broke my heart.

because i didn't feel you at all, sniffer.

i didn't feel you respond.

***

why is this happening?

sniffer, please don't break my heart.

at least not this way.

coffee and jealousy

you almost pissed me off that weekend when we were supposed to have coffee.

and i tried not to expect anything anymore. i tried not to mind it.

funny how you made it up to me the next day.

i was so glad you saw me that day coz i knew you'd be surprised at how i looked. was i pretty for you that day, sniffer?

i knew i was.

***

you thought that what i was supposed to give you was the news that we will be anticipating something soon.

was it just me or did that look in your eyes really gave a glimmer of disappointment when i said that we weren't?

you made a joke about that risk. you said you tried to make it happen.

sniffer, deep inside, i tried too. i was hopeful too. even for just a bit. even if we weren't ready.

***

it was your mom's birthday that day. i was happy you wanted to make her feel special by giving her flowers. that was so sweet of you.

***

there was a little flip in my heart whenever you called me dear in front of other people, even people we didn't know.

and when you asked for my opinion on the shirts you were buying... i felt like a girlfriend. i had a giddy feeling, just like a little girl.

the sweet little things you do and say really make me happy, sniffer. i appreciate it a lot.

***

you asked me to have coffee again the next day. since it was a rare opportunity for us, i agreed to go.

but you made me so jealous. you even had to use my friend to make me feel so jealous!

why sniffer? why?!

and you laughed while i was reacting! you were having a grand time making me feel jealous!

i can't understand you.

***

there is one more thing though.

you weren't so sweet anymore. it felt like i was with a friend that day, just a friend.

it was a complete turnaround.

i don't understand.

i'll be there

funny how i saw you by accident last week, sniffer.

i knew i was at the right place and at the right time.

coz if i wasn't there, you would've gone home really pissed off with no one to talk to. i hope seeing me made you feel even just a bit better.

you couldn't thank me enough for staying up 'til the wee hours of the morning just to listen to you rant. haha!

truth is, i thank you for wanting to talk to me after what you've been through that day. i do appreciate it.

and i'm glad i was able to be there for you even for just a few hours.

that was my way of showing you that i care so much about you.

***

you were still worried about the risk.

i wasn't.

i wanna let you know that it's ok now. there's no more risk. no more worries for you. or for me.

***

i found out so much about you again. about your work, about the last person you dated, about how you wanted your wedding rings to be.

your wedding rings kinda made me think. and i thought it was cool.

i'd just have to imagine them done on me though...

***

my heart skipped a beat when you asked for a kiss. i tried to avoid it and see how you'd react. you still wanted it.

i'm glad you still do.

***

this week gave me a lot to think about though.

i had dreams about you. dreams about the risk that we went through. and i felt sad and irritated knowing that even your schedule was normal again, you didn't even bother to see me or send me a message.

is there something wrong again?

i hope not.

i miss you, sniffer.

hey, i miss your warmth

Even If
by Mojofly


I was just wondering what you're doing
It's been a while since i've seen you
Another day gone by without you
Another day of feeling blue
I never thought it'd be this way
My image of you changed my world
But i want you to know

I'm not looking for a one night stand
Dance with me come closer
I'll be the best you've ever had
Cause i've been trying for so long to tell you
You're the only one for me
Just say the words and i will be there
Even if you won't be comin' around

I know i'm not a saint
But the things you heard about me
Yeah you know they're not true
I think about you everyday
My intentions are clean

I'm not looking for a one night stand
Dance with me come closer
I'll be the best you've ever had
Cause i've been trying for so long to tell you
You're the only one for me
Just say the words and i will be there
Even if you won't be comin' around

Maybe i'm such a dreamer
But i know i can do this right
With you there's no tommorrow

I'm not looking for a one night stand
Dance with me come closer
I'll be the best you've ever had
Cause i've been trying for so long to tell you
You're the only one for me
Just say the words and i will be there
Even if you won't be comin' around

crazy. beautiful.

finally.

i've never done something so crazy and beautiful with anyone so special, sniffer.

it happened so naturally. i didn't feel awkward at all. not for a first time.

i was ready. i didn't think twice. it just felt right.

and then you said you wanted me. even the look in your eyes said it.

so, i said yes.

***

there was a risk though.

but, still, i didn't feel worried about it. i'm still not worried about it now.

i honestly cannot imagine how strong and calm i am about it.

maybe because i know, if it happens, it will be ours.

***

i loved looking at you sleep. i loved how you embraced me to keep me warm. i loved feeling your breath on my neck.

i love your warmth, sniffer.

i hope you know that i love you too.

a bit stronger

i resolved to let you be. i was even resolved to ready myself with the idea of letting go. and move on.

i prayed so hard for those times that i cried, those times that i had sleepless nights and loss of appetite for everything.

i prayed so hard for God to take away the pain i was feeling that time. but i also asked Him for you. i asked Him to keep you safe no matter what. i asked Him to keep your family safe always.

and i asked God to let my love for you reach you. in whatever way, i don't know. and i resolved to be stronger.

and, just as always, you surprised me again.

thank you, sniffer.

***

last week, when you started communicating to me again, i was starting to guard my heart.

i didn't know how and what to think about your sudden absence and your sudden resurfacing in my life.

and when i saw you again, my hurts and doubts slowly started to be erased.

how do you do that to me, sniffer? how and why do you have that effect on me?

***

i didn't want to spoil our night by bringing up the issues i waited so long to talk about. i knew for a fact that we missed each other so much, i didn't want to dampen our moods.

funny how you brought them up, sniffer. again, you surprised me.

***

you asked me why i got mad at you. i didn't. i told you that. i'm glad i was able to apologize to you that night. i'm glad i was able to explain to you why i reacted that way the last time i asked to see you. and when you said sorry for not being able to be there for me... it meant a whole lot.

when i told you that i thought you got mad at me for reacting that way because you seemed to avoid me for weeks, i was surprised again to find out that you actually thought that i didn't want to see you. i don't think i can ever bear that - not seeing you. it broke me in those weeks that i didn't. it'll break me if i know that i won't ever again.

***

i know you're so caught up with your job. and i know that you're just establishing yourself. and i'm so proud of you for accomplishing so much in your work.

but, at least, i know you missed me, sniffer. i'm glad you did.

coz i did too.

***

and , now, i resolve to let you be all the more. i won't pressure you. and i will just be here for you.

i guess that's how much i love you.

resolutions

my heart and my mind are both overwhelmed right now. the former with emotions, the latter with thoughts.

it's been the heaviest week for me, sniffer. and i have finally come up with a resolution.

i will let you be. not let you go, but let you be.

any logical person would tell me to stop this madness and move on. but i know i can't yet. and i know that the right time will come when i'll finally decide to move on, if i need to.

but for now, i will let you be. you will have so many excuses right now as to why you can't see me. i will accept that.

but i know this for a fact-you know my worth. i know you do. it's what you're gonna do about it that's scaring you because you're really not ready for anything. in plain truth-you're not that into me. or maybe not just yet. that's why i'll let you be. until you finally have the courage to see me or talk to me again.

because i know one day you will.

until then, i will just be around. i will try to make my life normal again. i will try to be ready to be extraordinary again. because that's what i am-extraordinary. and you know that.

i know i will always have a special place in your heart. you will always have a space in mine too.

but until you finally appreciate my worth, i will let you be.

i won't leave you. i will just be here, most especially if you need me. because we were, first and foremost, friends. and i'd like to think we still are.

and if you're ready to see me or talk to me, i will be here. i won't drive you away.

***

in the movie "dan in real life", it was said that love is not a feeling, but an ability.

i love you, sniffer. i chose to love you. and i know i haven't exhausted all my efforts yet to show you and prove you that.

that's why i'm letting you be.