still no escape

i was on vacation.

i wasn't thinking about you.

not at all.

but your name just had to follow me there.

on a boat.

and then i had a dream about you again.

just before i woke up for that island trip i was so looking forward to.

the feeling of uncertainty about you was evident in my dream.

the same feeling i had when i was seeing you.

***

on my way to the island

the waves were so strong

they splashed sea water on my face.


they tried to wash off my tears.


it didn't deserve to reach and land on

my beautiful island.

the culprit

i saw your car again a couple of weeks ago.

and i was able to somehow fight the sadness that slowly tried to creep in.

i've been trying to move you at the back of my mind now.

i've been trying to take little steps.

i've been trying to move on.

***

something made me sad today.

and after all the times that i tell myself and other people that i'm not mad at you for what happened, today was the first time that i put the blame on you.

***

you weren't the reason why i got sad today.

but you had a big chunk of a part why that sad thing happened.

yes, you.

this time, i resent you for what you did to me.

it wasn't good.

for me and for a lot of people.